To New Beginnings

In a couple of my last few blog posts back on my other blog, I talked about feeling like I've outgrown my blog (which I have) and even asked on one post whether or not I should start a new one (to which no one answered). I think I always knew I had to do this--break away from The Style Reactor and into my own personal brand--but I was so scared to leave everything behind. About five years of my life were contained in that blog--the five years I've spent in Davao since moving from UP, I realize now. It was my saving grace during those times I felt bored/depressed/worthless/angry. It served as an outlet for all my energy, a mental and creative passion project which gave me a lot more than I bargained for: a job I loved and enjoyed, opportunities to speak for groups of people, a couple of features on TV, invites, freebies, and chances to monetize my blog. More importantly, I got to meet like-minded people, a lot of whom became friends I love and cherish to this very day.

Of everything I've gotten a taste of, I realized communication and connection are the things I craved the most. As my blog got bigger and more popular, I found myself writing to please others and serve others that I lost myself in the process. I would write about so many things, some of which didn't truly excite me, just to get page views or money. I guess it showed in writing because people could feel like my content was getting contrived, even if I was telling myself that it was still 'me', cause I mean, I wanted to write about it. It really is true, that if you try to please everyone, you'll end up with no one.

So what changed? First, I read the book "Me Before You" by Jojo Moyes. It's the first book in a while that made me feel something and think about something in a LONG time. I am so lucky I didn't reach 27 like Lou to have someone shake me to my senses to LIVE life, and not just go about it like she has. I am blessed because I have resources and a (relatively) healthy body that allow me to pursue what I want in life, and that fear and irreverence for the limited time we have on earth were the only things holding me back. 

(PS. Pursuing good things in life doesn't exactly mean going for thrill-seeking adventure or going on travels that could break the bank. While you have limited resources, it can be as simple as broadening your mind. Read, learn, find out about the world as much as you can. Stop spending 3 hours watching cat videos, even if they are cute. I mean, 10 minutes is enough cat-cuteness to get you through the day, don't you think? Work hard so you can save up to travel. You know how they say Beyonce also has 24 hours a day? Let that be your guiding light. LOL)

In light of that, I did two things: I made a list of things I'd always wanted to do but never gotten around to, and I invested in myself. A different kind of investment--not my usual mani/pedi pamper routine--I enrolled myself in a paid online course. (If you know me, you'll know I'm so stingy! I mean, I'd like to think of myself as thrifty but I think stingy is more apt. I'm stingy at everything but food huhu) More about these on future blog posts, but just know that the second thing that changed me was the paid course.

Lastly (or I guess this should've been the first one), what changed was me. I have a new outlook on life, a new phase in life (having just graduated from college), so why shouldn't I have a new blog for this new life? :)

Welcome to this blog. Hope you enjoy the ride. :)

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